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Larry Kersten

“Retirement - Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.”

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“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.”

Contributed by: Dafna Sharon

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George Carlin

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...

...and you finish off as an orgasm.”

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“As Greenspan retires, I shall retire my paintings of him and am ready to move on.”

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“Everyone keeps asking, 'When's John going to retire? Is this a retirement party?' and I tell them what's the difference, ... (Assistant General Manager Bernie Cooper) runs the town anyway.”

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“There is a lot of speculation about him going into retirement, but this is a company he's created,”

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“We're taking these actions to better control retirement plan expenses, position the company for business growth and competitive strength, and preserve employees' earned retirement benefits. We also believe these are prudent and balanced steps at a time of uncertainty and conflicting legislative and regulatory directions about defined-benefit retirement plans in the United States.”

Randy MacDonald

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