(2562 quotes found)
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Erma Bombeck
“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”
Janeane Garofalo
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
Woody Allen
“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
Lucille Ball
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.”
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
Tommy Cooper
“Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.”
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
“I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.”
Keith Richards
“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”
Winnie the Pooh
“Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.”
Shel Silverstein
Bookmark
