(17780 quotes found)
“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.”
Jack Handy
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
Bernard Manning
“I bet when neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, 'Don't forget the thick, heavy brows.' Then they would get all embarrassed because they remembered they had the big husky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.”
“If kids come to us [educators / teachers] from strong, healthy functioning families, it makes our job easier. If they do not come to us from strong, healthy, functioning families, it makes our job more important.”
Barbara Colorose
“What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.”
Dan Castellaneta
“I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”
Yogi Berra
“Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.”
“Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.”
Bob Hope
“Here's looking at you,kid.”
Humphrey Bogart
“Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.”
Chanakya
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